eyyy look at you guys still alive, still listening to the sound of my voice.
somehow I am still alive, likely by the harsh grace of some select few family members.

new years was nothing special. just like every other year, i fell asleep well before midnight, slept through all the firecrackers, then read the local news in the morning to see how many people died from stray celebratory gunfire.

i slept indoors with my dog, number one, because it was chilly as hell and i need to reup on handwarmers, and number two, because i wanted to minimize my chances of accidental homicide in the middle of the night. 
i spent new years day checking out my financial goals again. my main motivation for living in my van is my need to pay down my credit card debt. i’ve checked mint – my credit card debt has been hovering between 16 and 19k for the last 7 years.

no, i’ve never missed a payment. yes, i’ve paid more than the minimum at times. but i guess i just kept using credit cards to make random payments, and it kept evening itself out.

7 years later and nothing to show for it.

so i’m reminding myself why i’ve made the sacrifices i have.

yeah, i wanted the freedom to travel wherever i wanted and i love the fact i have no rent to pay, but these are reasons to enjoy the life i ultimately HAD to choose in order to attain my goal of paying off my revolving debt.
because one day, i do wanna own land again. i want somewhere to lay my head safely, and possibly share that space with other likeminded people, people who are trying to accomplish the same thing – financial freedom.

i hate to say it but cash is king. money talks. all those stupid cliches are true. we can spend our entire lives paring down our material possessions because the hippie in us wants to just live off of love and trades until we’re elderly, but the reality is, only luck is going to get you there. reality is, you need money to do things.

so it’s hard to have money when you have debt. basically, the banks are my loan sharks. they know if i don’t pay the minimum every month on time, they will ruin my reputation. 

instead of breaking my kneecaps, they’re going around whispering to other banks, hey man don’t trust blue, she paid late one month. let’s fuck up her credit, let’s make it harder for her to get car loans, a mortgage, a government job, a decent apartment. fuck that bitch. she owes us money.
financial institutions are big bullies. everything we do in life, we feed back into their system. i see this, and i know this, but i know better than to try to stick it to anyone, and just pay what i owe and move on.

credit card debt is like the divorce that never ends. you were happy when you were spending all that money, and now your wife has walked away, and you’re staying paying for the shit you guys enjoyed together 15 years ago. you just want it to be over.

you have to take control of your financial situation this year, guys. no cap. if you owe money, stop being complacent with your payments. kick it out of your life. it’s like the stray cat you fed once who keeps coming back. stop leaving him food, eventually it will go away and you will have spent less money on nasty ass cat food.

7 years. i’ve been kickin this monkey on my back around for 7 years. i’ve made no significant dent to that debt AND i have nothing to show for it. 
my brother asked what i spent all that money on. i don’t fucking know. food? like, i have nothing i can point at and be like “i’m paying that off right there because i earned it.”

the sooner you cut off these banks, the sooner you can put money into your own pocket. you can’t save money if you have credit card debt. the interest alone makes it the worst trade ever. if you’re putting more money into savings than your debt, STOP. unless your savings account has a 20% interest rate, all that money is wasted with high credit card balances.

no more being complacent. it’s only gonna get harder to get ahead. fix it while it’s still manageable, then start stacking your money. get to know ALL the people, make your connections. learn some skills. everything will fall into place.

but first, the high interest debt. tackle it full force. no prisoners. the banks don’t care when they add $100 interest every month on a card with a $200 minimum. it doesn’t even make sense. you are being taken advantage of.

sorry if this came off as aggressive, but when it comes to YOUR money, the money you wake up early for, put in OT for, deal with dumbass customers and fellow employees for, stop playin. you don’t work for fun. don’t let them punk you for your lunch money like that.

i haven’t gone on any trips in the van in a few months because i feel like i haven’t really earned it. also, i got 2 recalls i need to take care of, and labor is slow around the holidays, so i won’t feel comfortable going anywhere beyond work until i get those repairs are done.

i’ll be honest, it’s been a little stressful lately, and i think i do need an overnight trip to reset. everything has been very mentally draining, but we gon’ work it out.

subscribe and rate. i know you guys can’t wait until my inevitable spiral into madness. you’re seeing sparks of it now! how excite.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.