episode 12.5

a super short one before i disappear for a little while.

just a reminder that even though every day can’t be perfect, time means that all of this is only temporary.

if this was meant to be easy, we’d all be doing it wrong.

most days are just fine.

most days i can cope, i’m in a relatively good mood and i can deal with everything.

sure, there are some minor irritations, but life is manageable.

most days are even good days, if i can say that.

but then one day, i’ll wake up in the morning, and i can tell something is off.

there is a funk. the best way to describe it is dread.

and as i’m slipping on my vans in the morning before leaving the house, my inner voice is already telling me “today is gonna suck.”

then i spend my morning trying to fight it. I tell myself, “sup brain, you’re full of shit. im gonna have the kind of day i deserve to have.”

then brain says, “yeah. a shit day.”

i cant explain why these days pop up like they do. Maybe its like a fever blister where a lack of b vitamins and high levels of stress trigger an outbreak, then you spend two weeks trying to hide it from everyone, even though you know it’s obvious.

so im here to tell you that its normal to have bad days. you cant be toggled into the On position for too long at one time.

and if this means that sometimes you have to isolate yourself from the people you care about because you know they dont understand how you can possibly have Off days, then thats okay too. Just dont stay away for too long.

reset yourself and get back to life. remember bad days are temporary. it’ll pass like everything else does.

remember its okay to breathe.


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