i’m still here, joaquin phoenix

Wowee another extended break I guess.

This is my fault, I’ve had a lot going on, but I’ve been letting it all get to me and I realize I need to come back and hold myself accountable for what I have and haven’t done. 

I know this is beginning to sound like a confessional, but hear me out. It’s not as dramatic as you think. 

First things first, Rest In Peace that rent life. Right now I am kinda full timing it in my van, so I’ve been spending a good amount of time solving van problems as I get myself acclimated to sleeping in the back of a Promaster.

when the weather is wet, i still get a tremendous amount of rain in the back of my van, but if you wanna read more on that, you can check out my van blog over at tripvanstinkle.com

once the weather cleared up really nicely, it got down to the high 30s one night but I had my road dawg beside me acting as a heater.

But wouldn’t you guess it, this Houston weather done flipped on us and in rolled the humidity and its little brother, nighttime temps in the 80s. 

I started with one fan. Then I bought another. And then finally one more. And honestly, I’m about to buy another because that second one is such an energy sucker that it’s almost not worth running at night. 

When it’s just me, I’m fine. I can deal with the heat. But it’s my dog I worry about. I don’t want him to suffer as a result of my own selfish decision to not want to have to pay rent until I pay down a good amount of my credit card debt. 

and that debt is piling, but that’s a different story. that’s why i’m here to make moves.

so i’m here to remind you that time continues to move on, even if you decide to stop moving. 

say you tell yourself you’re gonna start this book kick, a book a month, something informative or meant to improve your quality of life. what can go wrong?

well, in a month and a half, you’ve barely scratched the surface of that book you wanted to read. you can have a million and one excuses as to why you didn’t get it done, but why use that energy to make excuses instead of just doing it?

god i swear i tell myself this shit every other day, and i still fall behind on my goals.

i’ve started testing the hypothesis that passive learning is a viable option, or at least better than not learning anything at all.

i’m into audiobooks, but i’ve learned long ago that i cannot actively listen to them during the day while i’m at work. can’t focus on what i’m listening to, and i end up having to rewind it, or just quit until i get some mindless leisure time.

so at some point, i thought the car rides could be reserved exclusively for audiobooks, but believe it or not, that shit gets a little old after a while. i love singing in the car, it’s like crack for me, and i’d much rather do that than be reminded by some old man that i’m a shit person who can’t respect other people’s boundaries.

so finishing a book is tough, but i’ve decided to try passively listening to audiobooks throughout my 8 hour day. i liken it to having a tv show rerun on in the background. you watch it enough times you’re bound to pick something up from it.

you ever see that episode of the simpsons where homer buys one of those books on tape you listen to while you sleep? he thinks he’s buying one to help him eat less and lose weight, but instead they send him one to build up his vocabulary. 

so of course he still eats like shit but he’s got an amazing vocab to shine with.

if an audiobook is 8 hours long, you can listen to one in one work day. if you didn’t catch the drift, fucking listen to it again the second day. and maybe by the third day you pick up a little more until you’ve extracted the bulk of what you’re gonna get listening to an audiobook in the background of your life.

if you find you can’t get anything out of it, maybe it only helps to listen actively. some audiobooks be like that. but the benefit i see is being able to at least catch some key points while you’re waiting for a good time to really sit down and indulge in this book.

consider it supplemental listening. you’re exposing yourself to something beforehand so you have a good grasp of the material when you’re ready to actively learn.

that’s how i see it anyway. if you have any tips on making time to listen to audiobooks let me know. driving seems to work well enough, but when i’m chillin after work, i can’t seem to justify simply sitting and listening to an audiobook.

sure, i could try reading an actual book but then i gotta learn how to read, and who wants to do all that?

so that’s where i’ve been in life lately. audiobooks and wet vans.

so in case you were misinformed, reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated, even if some days dying feels like the best option.

lets end on a good note, shall we?

i wanna reiterate the importance of an accountabilibuddy. it’s rough sometimes forcing yourself to be responsible for yourself, especially if you’re struggling with your self-esteem.

but if you can find someone you can equally motivate, use this tool to your advantage. nothing is more important than mutual support when it comes to forming good habits.

if you’ve fallen off, get back on again. the longer you wait, the more time you waste.

now let me let you get back to your regularly scheduled lives. hit me up at blue@hihowareyou.US if you need a swift kick in the butt. i can surely accommodate that.

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